Like Herpes, Rewrites Keep Coming Back

After the high of filming our first scene, I realized that there is still a lot of work to do. My two writing confidants, my professor Ben Braten and local Native American Judea Runs Through, and I talked about the story for OotGG. One aspect they commented on was they felt that Ben Banks' character, Caleum, while in deeply in debt seemed to fall into a life of crime rather easily. I reread the script and realized they were, like always, both right. This meant one thing:

Rewrites.

Spoilers

After thinking on it for a bit, I figured out what to do. In the story the audience does not really know of Abby and Caleum's family. It is basically the two of them. There is a mention of a mother who passed and an absentee father. Nothing more. I knew that they were right and to add to the story I added a scene where Caleum asks for help with the debt from his estranged aunt. I than wrote the scene and was pretty pleased. It clears up the concerns that Ben and Judea about giving him other options so Caleum does not just instantly turn to this underground world and gives the character a little more depth.

In the scene, Caleum visits his aunt Pam to ask for help with the medical bills. Aunt Pam turns out to be a giant ice queen. She revels in the fact that Caleum has come to her for help and she refuses to help, even though she is affluent. Caleum swallows his pride and begs. Aunt Pam does not budge and than insults his family. Before he does something brash, Caleum leaves. Once in his car, he lets out a scream of frustration.

I gave the scene to Ben Banks and he agreed with Ben Braten and Judea. It was a great addition that would add more to not only the story, but the character of Caleum. I am glad to have collaborators such as Ben and Judea because they push me creatively while also being honest in what my works need. They are great to have on my side.

Professor Ben Braten, caught in the act of voyeurism. Again.

Judea pictured here disappointed by something.